Getting back home to me is like starting things over. No shampoo. No body wash. No tooth paste. I even left my tooth brush in Singapore 'cause I felt like it was my home (or I just wanted it to be)... to be honest I left it there 'cause I wanted to go back there soon.
Yet my parents have been renting my room for some uni students so I'm now using another room. Empty room. It did feel like visiting someone's house. I need to buy a new body wash, shampoo, tooth brush with the paste and unpack my bag and fill the empty wardrobe.
The reason I didn't feel like coming home wasn't just because I liked Singapore but also I had to leave some positive chances of job and also some personal feelings with someone behind. I did find someone while I was there...
I was like setting to have a new life there but now I had to come here. Lonely here. I wanted to go to Singapore last year because I felt bored here. I needed something new and found it by living in Singapore but now I had to leave it behind. I guess I just lost a good chance of a job, lost a 3-months of trying to build a better relationship... basically I felt like I lost some of my dreams that were just starting to happen.
I understand this is a very personal post. I'm typing this in a sad mood.
There are actually some other things about my family that I can't really share here. It's pretty much making me slightly worse.
Huhhhh... I feel confused.
Growing up takes a lot of challenges. I used to think it was automatic meaning growing up was just all about getting old in age. But I realized it's not. It's about making decisions, choosing the right things, considering the priority, planning on the future, and seriously... feeling the pain. I didn't really choose this but it's pretty shit to still be a parents boy. I'm far from being grown up because not every decision for me is made by me. That's what I mean by me not the one having made the decision to come back home. I'm hating this situation not entirely my parents as they just care about me. I have to thank them for still guiding me to what's priority and what's not.
When is it very easy for anyone to leave things they love behind for something they exactly don't want or love instead? It's never easy and so painful. It's killing.
It's a big headache
10 comments:
Sorry to hear about you missing S'pore so much. Hope things improve for you.
I have to say growing up doesn't stop just becoz you've reached a certain age. In my opinion, a people still need to keep 'growing up' as they age!
I jokingly told my 3 year old nephew, I would happily trade places with him in a kindergarten than slogging away at my workplace facing work issues and 'difficult people'.
Get married to a Singaporean gal quick and you're on your way to get a PR faster. If you really have to work and live there full time, it might be pressure when you get embroiled in kiasuism with others. LOL
Yea guys I really miss the country but mostly my 'someone' there...
I'd like to be a PR. I'm still trying to find a good but not too expensive school even with a 3 years bond to work in Singapore I won't mind.
As long as I can live there to live my own life with my someone...
Huhhh... I'm really not feeling happy here guys
I'm not going anywhere. I'll still be here when you've finished. Chat more in private.
Oh, so you found someone there, I see! Maybe that's the real reason you miss Singapore! If you didn't find that someone, will you still miss Singapore?
You are right. Life is about choices. And priorities. Sometimes there are things we like to do, but we just can't because of certain priorities.
And as you grow older, there are more and more responsibilities. Don't you just hate it? Like Mei Teng, sometimes I prefer to be a kid where there are no worries.
But having said that, I'm actually happy with my life right now. And you should too, you've got to make the best of what is given to you. Enjoy your life and not get depressed or upset over things not under your control : )
Hiiiii... thanks for being there for me! I'll come back as soon as I can. I'm glad you left a comment here. It made me slightly better. Stay updated with my blog to keep in touch esp when we can't chat online.
=)
can't believe you'd leave a comment here. thank you!
Foongpc, thanks for saying that. I don't miss Singapore just because of that reason but I also miss the people, the easier-ness, the MRT!!, etc...
Growing up takes a lot of effort.
I'll try my best to make everything here better for myself to enjoy it. Hope it's possible and easy.
hohoho... found that special someone abroad? I wish I would be like you one day, too... :)
pretty sure it's hard to leave a place you already feel like your home (especially with that special someone right over there) and start everything back again. But be strong oh-mas-radit! Just be sure that you'll go there again, back at her!
no whines, because whine will make you think that your life's worse than it actually is. I know it's not so good here, but whining make it worse. (remember to write this up once I whine on my blog, I'm whining a lot too, though.)
now, now, nobody ever said that growing up is an easy thing to do, however, it still happen.
You're a funny little tiara...
Yes I guess I have to start to learn how to not whine all the time! It's freaking difficult to be in this situation, being strong indeed is the only option left. That's part of growing up and stronger.
Thanks for the little support from your little tiara! =P
Maybe bear with all this for a while then make plans to come back to Singapore? If you really treasure what you have in Singapore I think that is something you can think about. =)
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