Marriage isn't something that you believe but try to remain once you have one. I don't agree it is similarly related to other kind of relationships. Say a seeing. A seeing is a phase before marriage when you have strictly unlimited time to know your partner before you decide to marry her/him. So, why "do you believe in marriage" then?
In a seeing you 'can' break up (strongly not adviced) but not in a marriage. At least you're not supposed to. A marriage is more serious than a seeing and in fact they are slightly different things.
No I'm not talking like I'm mister-know-it-all. And no I'm not married yet. I'm not patronizing either. Again just sharing what I think is true. It can be wrong but also... well acceptable.
So, before you get married (legally!) think a lot if it's your own decision and is right and best for both of you. If there's a hesitation that's too difficult for you two to solve then think more and harder before you decide to bring your relationship to the "final and most memorable" step.
Not saying if there's just a little hesitation that you two positively think can be solved you're supposed to delay your plan to marriage so long. If it's only a very light hesitation (or probably called nervous feeling) then it should be ok and is normal.
I think don't think too far/much either. Even though you think you're at the right time to get married to your partner and have no more hesitation inside and out, it doesn't mean you won't have any single argument in the future in your marriage life. But that's good. Thinking too much will probably delay or even destroy the bound between you two.
So, solve every problem you have inside and out. Get rid of all the hesitations. Be honest with each other. Try to not keep any secrets. Don't just think of sex, obviously! (hehe, sorry). Tell your partner what you don't like and like about her/him and vice versa. Oh don't forget to get settled first. Meaning you have to have a good financial situation and a fixed for a long term one. We can't deny we live only with love, money has to be strongly involved. The problem is not with two of you but with who and what you live around. If you can produce your own food and building materials and everything else needed to build a good and stable family then you won't need money to live. But that's impossible. You need money so you can buy foods, at least.
If all 'clean' then marry your partner quickly! Hehe...
So, there should not be such a question "do you believe in marriage". Marriage should not be a cheesy and easy thing to decide. It has to be difficult, in a good way, so you feel ready what you're gonna have to face and who you're really going to live with. Even if you "can't" have children (for women who can't get pregnant, men who are impotent, and gay couples). Marriage should be sacred so respect it a lot.
Divorce can still happen in a happy marriage for sure. I agree there's always a limit for everything. A limit that one should not cross. I'm straightly talking about cheat affairs, crimes in partnership, major secrets kept (transgendered partner, for example. No offensive intent at all), major mental problems that completely change the entire personality of your partner for a very long term that she/he has lost interest in love (in this case you can still take care of your partner but you can't deny you need sex and a proper family unless you still love him/her which is very lovely and so unconditional).
So, for such obstacles be ready if you're about to get married to avoid going to places where you think you can get flirted, know your partner deeper and really well if she/he has some problems with doing harm when upset with someone or yourself (if you think you're the one having 'the' problem then let your partner understand it really well so she/he can decide whether she/he can accept it). Nothing you can really do to avoid your partner or yourself from having a major mental problem. Just eat healthy, do sports regularly, and don't work too intense.
Well, I don't know why I felt like talking about marriage now and... this long! it's just something that I noticed on TV just now saying as its tag line...
"Do you believe in marriage?"
NO, I'm not getting married so soon! LOL. This is also important for myself when about to get married even if there won't be anyone reading this post till very end. =)
I salute to anyone who manages to survive from reading this very long and boring post from the start till this very end! And thanks!
P.S: Or should I hand you $5 if you really manage to read the whole post??... stand back, Ikmal. Haha jk!
6 comments:
I do believe..but have yet to meet the right person..until then, I am living and enjoying this life God has blessed me with!
I agree with you..it's wise to resolve whatever issues (no matter how insignificant they may seem) before walking down the aisle.
Heard once on radio of someone asking for advice. She recently found out her spouse-to-be is a messy person (well hidden all this while until now). This messiness' bugging her. Should she resolve it with him or just leave it..perhaps the situation might improve after marriage?
Thankfully, the person who advised her told her to go talk to him and resolve it or else she has to decide...."will you be able to live with this in your marriage"? If you can't....resolve it before getting married.
That's exactly what I mean. Such problems happen in a relationship. A couple better resolve any major problems in their relationship before taking it to the next step, 'cause once one's married he/she can't just "oh I didn't know you're like this. Bye-bye then!". It can't be so simple like that like marriage is a piece of cake. A marriage is a really strong tied string so it should not be easy to untie.
For that radio woman case. I agree with whoever advised her. She better discuss the problem with her partner whether it needs changing or not. If it takes time then she has to be patient until her partner is ready to change.
Thanks for sharing the 'example' anyway, My Bug Life! =)
I believe in marriage too. And I'm planning to wed my wife as soon as possible. Ha =) I believe we shouldn't hide from our spouse-to-be about anything at all! Because the truth will always prevail! So it's better to come clean then lose it later. =)
Haha, good luck with your wedding, Tekkaus! Where are going to hold the party anyway?
Anyway you said you were going to wed your wife asap. So, you have a wife already and are going to wed her again? LOLOL =))
OK, hand me the $5 : )
Do I believe in marriage? Yes and no. I see so many divorces and break ups nowadays sometimes I'm losing faith in marriage. If a couple does not plan to have babies, I say don't get married!
And you are right, resolve every little things before getting married.
OK, I'll issue a $5 check for you =))
That's what I mean. There are ways to avoid a divorce even if they are not easy some times. What we can do is to avoid it from happening. So, before getting married, EVERYTHING is supposed to be equally agreed and
openly discussed so the couple won't have too many surprises from each other.
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