One year older

I just turned 23 today.. writing this right at midnight. Pretty much like last year when I posted a blog about my 22nd birthday, as I'm getting older I don't feel anything that special on the day like when I was still young. I now have to accept it that being 23yo is being an old person. I won't lie that I kind of expect something special to happen on my birthday tomorrow but there's no need to think that way anymore. It is also one of the ways to avoid being disappointed if what I expected didn't happen 'cause that would make me pretty stressful.

This year has been so much different and new in my life that almost made me feel like a new person. It started from finishing my university, having a chance to go to Papua, flying to Singapore to look for a job and finally having one recently, to simply experiencing a lot of new and waking-up experiences during the whole year. I've been travelling quite a lot this year and enjoyed it. I don't want to speak about that too detailed because I have in other posts before this.

Being old is also 'needing' to change the way I perform. I know following my nature is the most important and honest way to grow up and perform myself to others. However, my nature at the moment tempts me to keep looking young and avoid looking like an old guy. Speaking of avoiding looking old, I don't think I should follow Michael Jackson's path. I understand it's a personal thing to him but I believe I have rights to say that the path he took was pretty wrong. I don't wanna be naive here speaking like I'm such a perfect guy accepting everything easily beyond my nature or what I am tempted to do. With Michael Jackson for having fully changed the way he used to look by insisting to be forever young, maybe he was just in a difficult situation surrounding him that probably encouraged pushed him to have to have the 'legendary' cosmetic surgery. I can't fully blame him for following his nature/heart regardless the human rights, but I don't think I'll always have to follow what my heart tells me.

As I said, in my heart I do want to stay young forever and have fear to get old, but instead of pushing myself to look forever young like what M.J did, I'll just keep it inside.

To get more successful is one of the best way to enjoy every year I pass. I learned that it's not only the fear of getting old but also getting too late. So, what I think I can try to do is to be more successful in some major things in my life that will bring me to a better future.

So, if you really understood what I just tried saying above, I don't think I'll have a special celebration tomorrow or expect anything much.


P.S: This will be my 1st birthday I'll have away from my family. I'm not complaining at all here, just saying =)